please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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