His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
