to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
