I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
