the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
