you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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