Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
