No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
