she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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