she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
