I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
