She is in my trunk
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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