I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
