need another drink. this is the easiest way
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
