is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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