That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
