Fine. I'll sleep in my office
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
