Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
