i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
