it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
