Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
