I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
