Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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