I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
