I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
