In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
