i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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