Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize