ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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