I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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