How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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