If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
