I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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