SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you didnt know i had herpes?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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