Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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