I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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