I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
