Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
