Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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