I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
