i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
