what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
not ubering you a puppy
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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