If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
