She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So much rum. So many feels.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
