If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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