yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
