I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
