Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she peed on how many people?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
