I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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