found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize