I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
