Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
