So drunk its hurt
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize