Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
