So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
