Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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