i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
