i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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