Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
