big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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