when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
