i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
