I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dignity is for republicans.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
